Bidding Health a "Hello!"

     Today, after exterminating several members of a bowl of candy placed seducingly on the secretary's desk in my office (which, I must add in my defense, is like the "Go" in Monopoly... you ALWAYS pass it) I returned to my seat, sit in my seat as one should sit, and am then brutalized. By what? My disgruntled stomach was throwing a temper tantrum and sending the giant mental message, "WTF". I realized in an instant where I had gone wrong, taste of Kit Kats still in my mouth. I returned the accusing cramps with a feeble white flag waving in my brain... hello health.

     Don't get me wrong. I used to eat a LOT worse and consequentially weighed a lot more. I didn't just have a sweet tooth. I had a chips tooth, a meat & potatoes tooth, an italian extravaganza tooth... not to mention several loves-every-kind-of-food-that-you-should-avoid-with-your-metabolism teeth. With that impressive set of grillz, one can reasonably assume their skill levels were off the charts at breaking down unhealthy stuff into calories and a big butt, with my hand allowing them to perfect their dastardly art as I ate more and more.

     Soon, with every bite something started to happen. I hated myself. Loathed, quite frankly. I was a teenage girl, the world was out to get me, and I was my own worst enemy. One night where, in a depressed state I, for God knows what reason, consumed more pizza than any human should SEE in one sitting. Afterwords, I sat on the floor crying, looking like a beached whale and feeling horribly sorry for myself. An awful determination overtook me... I was GOING to be thin. I didn't have the long-term willpower to become anorexic, but throwing up was an easy fix, right? I remembered Hansel and Derek Zoolander saying it was a great way to lose a couple of pounds before a show. Movies didn't lie, right? Well, God always gets the last laugh and this was just another one of those instances. I practically had my toothbrush shoved down to my stomach in exasperation and was still hardly heaving. My gag reflex was practically nonexistant. It was only when I actually focused for a good 10 minutes that I managed to barf. After, I sat on the floor, sweaty and crying harder because I was even a failure at throwing up. In desperation, I tried a couple of times more after that. A night after one of those times, when I was in bed, throat sore from gouging it with a toothbrush trying to get anything to come up, I had a revelation.

     I honestly don't remember what the WHA-POW voice from Heaven actually was, or when it came, but suddenly it barreled into me, lighting my dark room with the illuminating concept, "GET OFF YOUR ASS AND EXERCISE." So, my inner health seed had bloomed! It actually beat me across the face... not your typical graceful bloom, but I followed dazedly down the path to good health anyway.

     Now, 5 months later and about 25 lbs. less, I finally am getting close to being a person that I can look at in the mirror and smile instead of wanting to do something violent and destructive.
HOWEVER. I still have 16 lbs. to lose before I get to my goal weight... My goal time? Thanksgiving Break. To walk into a room of food and NOT feel like people are looking at me, calculating how early they should get in line in order to have a morsel or two more than they would have had going after me. To feel like I measure up to a petite mother and the rest of those who share her genetics. I am so determined to do this. If you care to stick with me on my challenge with myself, to see if I give up like I usually do or if I am man enough to muscle through it, new posts will be coming regularly. These give my spin on things, but also really helpful tips and hints I've learned, recipes, funny stories, anecdotes, etc.

Muah dears, enjoy.

Coming Soon: No Place To Hide From the Deep Fried